Buying a puppy from a breeder- what I wish I knew....

Collecting Alfonzo from the Airport. we all took the day of School & work to go get him as a family.

This is probably a slightly controversial topic. and I've thought twice about posting this

But after our experience buying a puppy from a breeder I felt it worth sharingnwhat we have learned along the way.

Here goes.

If sharing our experience helps even one person ask a few more questions, dig a little deeper or trust their gut when choosing a puppy, then I think it’s worth talking about.

Our journey:

We’ve always had family dogs, but this was the first time we had gone through what we considered the more “official” breeder route.

Our previous dogs had come from family dogs that had had a litter — what would probably be described nowadays as “backyard breeding.”

I know that term can immediately sound negative, but our experience was very different.

Those puppies came to us loved, cared for and having had a great start in life. They went on to become wonderful family dogs.

This time, we decided to do things differently.

We spent a lot of time researching the breed we felt would best fit our lifestyle and family.

After losing Barnaby, there was naturally an emotional side to it too.

Nothing could ever replace him, but we hoped that when the time was right, another dog might help heal our hearts a little.

Barnaby photo shoot 1 month before passing!!

And this definitely wasn’t a rushed decision.

Our journey started back in January, when we joined a breeder’s waitlist for a standard tri. Alfonzo didn’t come home until August.

We were prepared to wait.

Unfortunately, that breeder’s breeding attempt was unsuccessful and we were told she wasn’t planning to breed again until early the following year.

She suggested it might be best for us to look elsewhere and told us about another breeder whose dog was due to have a litter.

That’s when our search really began.

When something didn’t feel right:

The litter was born and a particular puppy was allocated to us.

After waiting, naturally we were incredibly excited.

Our daughters were excited too, and we’d started imagining finally having another dog in our home.

But as time went on, deep down we all knew that particular puppy wasn’t the right fit for our family.

There was nothing wrong with him.

We never said there was.

He simply wasn’t what we felt was right for us.

When we made the difficult decision not to proceed, we were told we’d wasted the breeder’s time and that there was nothing wrong with the puppy.

Communication became very short with us, and the whole experience was incredibly upsetting — particularly for our daughters.

But despite how upsetting it was, we knew we’d made the right decision.

You shouldn’t choose a dog because you feel guilty about disappointing somebody.

This is a huge family commitment.

It has to feel right.

Back to square one:

So we started searching again.

During that search we spoke with another breeder.

While discussing what we were looking for, she made a comment that has stuck with me ever since — that it “shits her” when people want an “Instagram-perfect puppy.”

I remember thinking… but that’s not what we’re looking for.

We weren’t looking for perfection.

We weren’t simply looking for the prettiest puppy or one that would look good on Instagram.

We wanted a dog whose temperament, personality, expected size and characteristics suited our family and lifestyle.

And I think it’s important to say this too:

You’re allowed to have preferences.

Of course health and temperament matter enormously, but you’re also allowed to know what you’re looking for in a dog.

It’s your family and your future dog. You’re the one who will hopefully spend many years loving and caring for them.

Then we found Alfonzo:

Alfonzo first day at home lying in the garden enjoying the sun..

Eventually, we came across a litter that was already born and ready to go.

And that’s how Alfonzo came into our lives.

The breeder described herself as a small boutique and ethical breeder, and I’ll be completely open — that ticked a big box for me.

Those words gave me reassurance.

In my head, “small boutique breeder” meant fewer dogs, more individual attention and puppies being raised with plenty of hands-on care. Seeing “ethical breeder” made me feel we’d found somebody who prioritised the health and wellbeing of their dogs and puppies.

Looking back now, I realise I probably put too much weight on those descriptions without digging deeply enough into what they actually meant in practice.

We were incredibly excited to finally bring our puppy home.

And we absolutely adore Alfonzo.

Unfortunately, since bringing him home, a couple of health concerns have been raised that have required veterinary treatment and follow-up.

When we raised our concerns with the breeder, we personally felt the response was quite dismissive.

I’m deliberately not going into all the details because this post isn’t intended to be an attack on an individual breeder.

Alfonzo is loved beyond words. He’s ours and he’s part of our family.

But I would be lying if I said the experience hasn’t tainted what we’d hoped would be such a happy chapter for us.

What I wish I’d known:

Looking back, I can put my hands up and say there are things I would do differently.

We genuinely thought we’d done our homework.

Perhaps we focused too much on the things we thought should tick the boxes — registered, professional, ethical, the right breed and what we wanted — and not enough on some of the things I now realise we should have looked at more closely.

How and where are the puppies actually being raised?

What about their health?

What individual attention and socialisation are they receiving?

How comfortable is the breeder with answering questions and providing evidence?

Because sometimes you simply don’t know what you don’t know.

That’s a huge part of why I’m sharing this.

Look beyond the labels:

There are absolutely some incredible breeders out there who put enormous amounts of time, knowledge, money and love into their dogs and give their puppies a fantastic start in life.

This isn’t about saying otherwise.

What I’ve learned is that words and labels alone shouldn’t give you an automatic sense of security.

“Registered.”

“Boutique.”

“Ethical.”

A professional website and beautiful social media don’t necessarily tell you what’s happening behind the scenes.

Ask to see health testing for the parents.

Ask about health and temperament. Ask where the puppies are raised and what they’re exposed to during those important first weeks. Ask for veterinary and health records.

Look beyond the breeder’s own website and social media too.

Search their name and business, look for independent experiences and understand what any registration or membership they advertise actually means.

And pay attention to how you’re treated when you ask questions.

A responsible future puppy owner asking questions shouldn’t be seen as an inconvenience.

Don’t feel bullied:

This is probably one of the biggest things I want somebody to take from our experience.

Don’t feel bullied into choosing a dog that doesn’t feel right for you.

Don’t take a puppy because you’re worried about upsetting somebody.

Don’t feel guilty for changing your mind.

Don’t be made to feel difficult because you’re asking questions.

And don’t feel shallow because you have preferences.

It’s your family.

It’s your dog.

You are allowed to choose what you want.

Trust your gut.

And yes, adoption is amazing too

I know conversations like this can quickly turn into “you should have adopted.”

People who adopt and rescue dogs are absolutely amazing, and I genuinely take my hat off to you.

There are so many beautiful animals needing homes, and giving one of those animals a loving home is an incredible thing to do.

But adoption isn’t for everybody either.

And that’s okay.

Every household is different.

There may be children, existing pets, lifestyle considerations or simply a particular breed that somebody has researched and knows suits their family.

Choosing to purchase a puppy doesn’t mean you don’t support rescue.

You have a choice, and you should choose the dog that’s right for your family.

Something this experience really made me think about

Our previous dogs came from family dogs that had had a litter.

Today, many people would immediately describe that as “backyard breeding.”

Yet those puppies came to us loved, cared for and having had a great start in life.

This time, we went down what we believed was the more official route — and ironically, it’s the experience that has made me question the most.

I’m absolutely not saying backyard breeding is better.

And I’m certainly not suggesting our experience represents every registered breeder.

It doesn’t.

I’ve simply learned that a label doesn’t tell you everything you need to know about how a puppy has spent those incredibly important first weeks of its life.

If this helps one person…

I know some people will disagree with parts of this post, and that’s okay.

I’m not sharing it to tell anybody where they should or shouldn’t get their dog.

I’m sharing it because this is what we’ve learned from our experience.

I don’t regret Alfonzo. Not for one second.

We absolutely adore him.

But I do wish the journey to bringing him into our family had been different, and I wish I’d known at the beginning what I know now.

So if you’re looking for a puppy, do your homework — and then do a little more.

Ask questions.

Ask for evidence.

Look beyond the website.

Don’t be afraid to walk away.

And above everything else, trust your gut.

If sharing our experience makes just one person ask a question they wouldn’t otherwise have thought to ask, then I’m glad I posted it.

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Because however your dog comes into your life, you’re choosing a member of your family.

Choose what’s right for yours.